It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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