I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
3 2 1 whiskey
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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