ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
