we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
