Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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