Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
