in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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