summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
