Sponge bath it is.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize