Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
