Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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