I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
