he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize