Sponge bath it is.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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