i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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