Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
