I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
