got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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