She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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