i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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