Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize