Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
