i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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