But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
