addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
