I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
