Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize