like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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