Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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