I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
