with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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