Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
