I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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