Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This can only be settled by a dance off.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize