So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My life is pants optional.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize