Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
