it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
