I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
