Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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