i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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