after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
