so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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