Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize