you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
