Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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