i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They took my balls.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
