can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
