Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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