If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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