so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
