I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
