I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize