the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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