You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
