Got a toothbrush?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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