When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
