3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
