I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize