bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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