Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
