just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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