Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
