This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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