everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
