woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
